Cutscene: Diary Of A Shadow-Possessed
IC Date: Monday, January 17, 2010 and ongoing
Characters Involved: Shiori Hibiki
Location: Kirijo Laboratory, Port Island.
OOC Note: Will be updated frequently.
Finally moved everything I needed into the Kirijo lab facility. Not that there's much; most of what I have got confiscated. They gave me a long receipt, then they took that receipt away since I didn't need it and apparently paper clips are deadly weapons in the hands of the Shadow-Possessed, and gave me a receipt for the receipt. Welcome to bureaucracy.
I did manage to talk them into giving me some paper and pencils, though. For homework, right? They seemed surprised that I still wanted to study, but they said they'd try to deal with things as they come. If I fail my finals, I am so blaming them.
Since this is my first entry in this diary, let me introduce myself! I'm Shiori Hibiki, originally from Fukaya, Saitama, and now in Port Island, in the Okina area. I'm a first-year student at Gekkoukan High School, and I'd say that I'm a normal high school girl, except that I'm not really.
I'm Shadow-Possessed. It's a long story. Maybe I'll tell it next time.
So since I'm Shadow-Possessed, my boyfriend and his school club, who are supposed to cure monsters like me, told me to turn myself in to this Kirijo lab facility. Since this is Hitoshi-kun asking me, I did as he wanted. I had my doubts at first, but Hitoshi-kun and Shimizu-san proved that I really needed the help. I'm beginning to agree, but it's kind of hard to think the way they do, so I still don't know whether this is a good idea.
I mean, they're regular humans, and I'm a Shadow-Possessed. Totally alien, right? I should be draining their souls or something, and they should be trying to kill me. That's the way it should be, and I don't know why they even care what happens to me.
Anyway, now that I'm at the Kirijo labs, I'm out of SEES hands officially, although I think I'm allowed to tag along with them if I promise to behave. The Kirijo people kept emphasizing the bit where giving me all these amenities and luxuries is stretching the rules. I admit I'm surprised at how nicely everyone is treating me, considering my Shadow-Possession.
Speaking of rules, they gave me this huge long lecture about what I'm allowed to do and not allowed to do, and what everyone else is allowed to do to me. I pretended to be bored, but I actually listened to every word. It's pretty scary! The Kirijo lab personnel are authorized to use any means to subdue Shadow-Possessed, although preferably without excessive force. I'm well aware of my own limitations, and pain is bad, so I'd rather not give them the excuse to shoot me.
I know this room is full of observation equipment, so I've got basically no privacy. Kind of fun, actually, and thrilling, like being in the spotlight all the time. I know you're watching me write all of this down, Kirijo scientists, so hi there! Hope we can work well together!
Getting pretty annoyed by the sensory blocking equipment. At least they let me go outside, so it's not too bad. I just have to endure it every night after curfew, and it's not exactly comfortable. Sensory deprivation makes for some weird dreams; I think I was pretty much tripping out through the entire Dark Hour. Couldn't even sense Tartarus, not through the blockers. That was so weird. I might have turned Shadow in the middle there, or it might have been a dream. Whatever, the scientists probably have the charts and camera records to prove it. Not my problem.
During the day, I got examined by this nice doctor, can't remember her name. Redhead, brown eyes, freckles, kind of young, pretty in her own way, no Potential. Apparently used to dealing with Shadow-Possessed, or otherwise just unflappable, since she was really nice to this Big Bad Shadow-Possessed. Basic physical exam, and I think some psych questions. Complained about the anti-sensory equipment, of course; how would you like it if someone forced you to wear a blindfold and earplugs and all sorts of stuff like that? But I also told her that I understood why it was there. Need to show willing, after all.
I didn't get to see my own health results, except for the part where they confirmed I'm still Shadow-Possessed. Like duh, I could have shown them that. I even offered, but they seemed to be really angry about that. So paranoid! Just because I can turn them into Apathy Syndrome sufferers when I'm in Shadow form doesn't mean I'm actually going to. What's the point?
Also, I got scolded for using the intercom recklessly. I just thought I'd talk to the guards outside, or a scientist, or somebody, anybody. I'm so bored in here! But no, the intercom is supposed to be for announcements and emergencies only. The guards told me to get a hobby.
Did I have a hobby? What did I do to pass the time, in the life before I accepted the darkness? I can't remember. Everything's so fuzzy. Stupid sensory blockers.
Can't wait for Yuume-mi's concert tonight! I've got my tickets, I've got my backstage pass, and I really want to go talk to Yuume-mi about that weird resonance she's got around her. I've been telling everyone I could about it, but of course, nobody listened to me. Typical. It'll turn out to be some sort of super-special never-before-seen ultra-Persona, or something awesome like that, and will they credit the Shadow-Possessed for the discovery? Nooooo.
Gotta go, someone's at the door. Probably there to lecture me again about how my Shadow form is dangerous. Who cares, just let me go to the concert already!
messed up. got tranqed. not allowed to go outside anymore. wrote a report, turned it in.
sensory blockers at full power. hitoshi-kun visited me, helped calm me down. he keeps me sane. love him so much.
still believe that going shadow was the right thing to do, but hitoshi-kun said that was the shadow talking. how does he know? too hard to think. so distracting.
stupid sensory blockers.
also, need to say hi to hinata-san, since we're classmates. she popped up from nowhere, what's up with that. need to find out about all these weird and funny thinggssssdsfwsa
can't think clearly
can't writee properlly
hitoshi-kun helpp me
get me ouut of here
cannn'tt tthinkk nneeeeed to knowneedtosenseneedto
loveyou hateyou loveyou hateyou
They lowered the power on the sensory blockers. I suppose my report made its way through to whoever's in charge. I know I haven't been properly appreciative of the Kirijo personnel here, so I'd just like to thank you all.
See, I'm holding this up to the hidden cameras. Hopefully someone sees it and records it.
So tired. I think I must have Shadowed out and gotten tranqed again. Or was that a dream? Can't remember. Everything seems like a dream, these days. Like I'm wearing someone else's clothes, except that it's more like I'm wearing someone else's mind and body. That was what Yuuka-san said at the concert, didn't she? That I wasn't really here, and I wasn't who I was supposed to be. What did that mean?
And why did I call Yuuka-san "Yuuka-neesan"? It's an important clue, I know. It's like one of the keys to the whole mystery. I don't like mysteries, and I really don't like being cooped up in here while the mystery gets solved without me, since nobody tells me the solution anyway. Am I really her long-lost little sister? But she's younger than me, isn't she? By about three months, I think.
Yuuka Chiba, stage name Yuume-mi. Who are you? Why do you seem so familiar? Why is your resonance so special? Why do you seem like you know everyone around here already?
Why don't you want to talk to me?
I'm sorry, Yuuka-san, if I've offended or insulted you in any way. Or if you just don't want a Shadow-Possessed monster like me as your fan. Actually, let me try something.
I hope that works.
I'm still not sure what happened at the concert. It's all fuzzy now, and I haven't heard any explanations of why everything went crazy. I still think I did the right thing by rushing to the stage to save Yuuka-san, and I'd make the same decision again if I had to. But Hitoshi-kun said it was the Shadow telling me this, and I should have stayed back and let Shiki-san and Shimizu-san handle it. But they were focusing on that Magical Girl Ixquic! What if something had happened to Yuuka-san while their attention was diverted? I had to protect her, and only my Shadow form had the power!
I'm not bothered by the decision I made. According to the Kirijo people and Hitoshi-kun, I should be. And the fact that I'm not bothered is what bothers me.
Is there any hope for me at all, when I can't even think like a human being? Am I going to be a monster forever?
Things were so much simpler when I thought I didn't have any hope. Just live my life as a short, fleeting dream, and then it'll all be over. So what if I'm a Shadow-Possessed monster? In fact, so what if I'm a Shadow-Possessed monster now, despite being trapped inside the Kirijo lab? What difference is it going to make, whether I survive or not?
Hitoshi-kun will be sad. That's the difference. I thought he'd just get over it, but Yuuka-san told me that he probably won't. Is she right?
I'm happy the way I am, doing what I want to do, and not caring what other people think. Why help others, when they'll just throw it back into your face? But Yuuka-san was kind to me, and I wanted to help her. And Hitoshi-kun loves me, and I love him too, so we should help each other; that's what Shimizu-san said. When I tried to help others, before I decided to help myself, I was miserable. Will I lose my happiness now?
Hitoshi-kun told me that my Shadow isn't going to make me happy, but that's not true. But I trust him, so it must be true. But my Shadow makes me happy, but it shouldn't, but...
My head hurts.
I need to get out of here. If I stay, I might really lose control and eat someone's mind. I don't think Hitoshi-kun will be happy about that.
Shimizu-san just visited me. Looks like they've ordered her and Hitoshi-kun to keep an eye on me, by visiting me every day. I admit that I don't really like Shimizu-san, because she's so pushy, but her presence meant that I wouldn't be completely alone with nobody to sense, so I suppose I should be grateful.
They must be putting something into the food. I'm starting to get all melancholy. Come on, Shiorin, cheer up! You can do this!
Anyway, before that, I got poked and prodded some more by the scientists. The doctor this time is someone not so nice, and he didn't even give me his name. Tall, grey hair, thin wireframe glasses, on the verge of geezer-hood, no Potential. Barked orders like some kind of drill sergeant, shoved me around roughly, like he's got a grudge against me. I miss the redhead already.
Greyhair Glasses stuck some sort of electrodes all over my head, then flashed a light into my eyes. I don't know what he was expecting to see; I flashed a bit of Shadow at him, just to change my eye colour and make things interesting, and he smacked me upside the head! No sense of humour, I swear. Well, it's not like I didn't expect something like this. I'm a Shadow-Possessed, so of course he's going to be angry with me. I'm surprised the Kirijo Group has treated me as nicely as they have so far.
So, after like an hour or two of me just sitting there with these wires stuck to my head, and them pointing all sorts of huge devices at me, I was released and escorted back to my room. Still no idea what that was about. I didn't get any new study materials today, so there wasn't much to do except revise (why isn't there even a television in here? Are they afraid I'll jump into the TV World or something? That doesn't even work in Port Island, stupid), but then Shimizu-san turned up.
She didn't look happy to be here either. I could tell she was trying to make small talk, and avoid the big issues, since she basically complained about school. Hey, at least you get to go to school! It's not like I can now, even if I hadn't messed up at the concert. But she went on and on about her grades, and it was getting pretty obvious that she didn't want to talk about the real things which mattered.
I asked about Hinata-san's reappearance. Looked like everyone's happy to have her back. Actually, I suppose I am, too; Hinata-san always seemed like a nice person. I should have asked Shimizu-san to say hi to Hinata-san for me. Oh well, there's always next time! But when I talked about that surge of resonance when Hinata-san popped back into existence, Shimizu-san changed the topic. Okay, sensitive topic there. I can live with that. I'll find out eventually, but for now, I'll just let Shimizu-san talk about whatever she wanted. She probably earned it, for putting up with me.
In fact, I didn't even ask about Yuuka-san; didn't get the chance to. Shimizu-san will probably explain it to me in good time, if she wanted to. Or not. It's all up to her, and Hitoshi-kun, and SEES, and the Kirijo Group; I don't get much of a say. I'm on the inside of this prison, and Shimizu-san is on the outside. There's not much else I can add to that.
Shimizu-san was actually quite nice this time around. Didn't yell at me, didn't go "oh your Shadow is going to kill you, look at what happened to me", nothing like that. Just talking about regular stuff. I think we could even be friends, if this keeps up. Not close friends, obviously, since I've never seen the point of all of that True Friendship kind of thing, but she probably won't try to kill me on sight or something. It's the little victories~
Speaking of victories, I think I should ask the Kirijo people to turn down the power to the sensory blockers a little more. I'm still tripping out at night, and I know I've gotten tranqed again at least once. Which means someone here in the lab has the Potential, and is willing to shoot a tranq dart or something at me in the middle of the Dark Hour. Or maybe there's some sort of gas mechanism in the room? That'll be really cool! I wish I remember clearly what goes on when I lose control like that, rather than seeing it all in a dream that doesn't even make sense. Why am I even dreaming about the Hoshimoto kid anyway?
Then again, if I tell them straight out, maybe they'll think I'm trying to trick them, evil Shadow-Possessed that I am. Are they going to increase the power again? Then I'll go crazy and turn Shadow and start rampaging and then they'll have to shoot and kill me. Problem solved! Well, not for me, but you get the idea.
Hang on, someone at the door. Be back soon.